Expository Cinema: Lars and the Real Girl

The witness of a compassionate community.

Series Introduction: We’re growing up in a culture that consumes images. They incessantly bombard us each and every day with little thought given to each of them. The frequency of these images are creating brains that are more distracted; less capable of reflecting on what they see. Expository Cinema seeks to cultivate viewers that pause, reflect, and savor what appears onscreen. Each post highlights a specific scene from a movie in order to foster deeper appreciation.

Screenshot from IMDb.com

I know what you’re thinking…

John, why in the world would you write about a movie that involves a sex doll for a family movie night newsletter?

Trust me, I completely understand your concern. Trying to justify a storyline that contains a sex doll is a bit like putting lipstick on a pig, but let me attempt to…justify this recommendation. Please also understand that this recommendation is for families with older children.

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As we’re introduced to the titular, Lars (Ryan Gosling), we quickly learn that he’s a bit of a recluse who’s socially awkward. Interacting with anyone - even close family members - comes with great difficulty. The social settings he encounters are fleeting and take a toll on his timid frame.

As the story unfolds, Lars tells his brother and sister-in-law, Gus (Paul Schneider) and Karin (Emily Mortimer), that he’s met someone. Gus and Emily are equally shocked and encouraged, but those emotions quickly turn to horror as they meet Lars’ girlfriend, Bianca. Not only is she not a real girl, she’s a sex doll.

Believe it or not, but the movie is a beautiful picture of community. More specifically, the movie gives a fairly positive portrayal of what it means to be the church. What it means to walk alongside someone who’s hard to love. What it means to mourn with those who mourn. What it means to be a man. A loving spouse. A people who sacrifice for the good of another. The richness of community is the thread that runs through each of these examples, making it a sweet film.

When Community Becomes a Crowd

There’s a brief point in the podcast, The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling, when Rowling talks about the danger of crowds. She reflects on crowds at book signings, crowds at sporting events, and gives primary focus to online crowds through social media platforms. She says there’s an uneasiness when numerous people gather together, because it often results in violence.

I bring this up because sometimes the church can act more like a crowd than a community.

God created us as relational beings and much that is realized through the local church. The only catch is that the church isn’t immune to sin. The community of the local church is filled with self-righteous people who judge, condemn, gossip, and further the suffering of a sin-sick world.

The more a church can be characterized by congregants who are aware of the massive log they have in their own eye, the more beautiful that community will feel. Sadly, the deceitful nature of our hearts attempts to turn it into a place that condemns all the nastiness “out there” and misses the nastiness within.

For our purposes, a crowd would condemn a Lars for purchasing a sex doll. A community would see Lars as someone created in God’s image who’s broken, just like them. They would see Lars as someone with a larger story that needs to be understood. A crowd would self-righteously mock and shun Lars. A church believes in a gospel that teaches us there was only one person who was truly whole. A crowd would look down on Lars to feel better about themselves.

In this specific scene, Karin is reminding Lars of the community that’s been striving to love him. The community that has been selflessly serving him. The community that has bent over backwards to make him feel like he belongs with them.

If someone like Lars went to your church, how would they be treated? If you watch the movie, you’ll see that Lars isn’t someone who’s easy to love (even though he’s portrayed by Ryan Gosling). He’s uncomfortable, makes inappropriate decisions and says things he shouldn’t.

In other words, he’s the exact type of person Jesus came to save. And if we weren’t so blinded by our own brokenness, we’d be able to see that we’re more like Lars than we realize.

A crowd would push back on that statement. A church would humbly agree.

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Note: I’ve seen this movie twice but it’s been a while. I wanted to rewatch it before this post, but was unable. If I’m forgetting any details that paint the church in a negative light, please let me know.