The Challenge of Picking a Movie & Some Practical Solutions

Why is it so difficult to find a movie the family agrees on?

Watching movies used to involve intentionality.

That’s not to say that it doesn’t involve some level of intentionality today, but it once involved more than it does now. Families would load up in the van, walked through a video store, picked a movie or two and then went home to enjoy (going to the movie theater is another process).

While it was fun walking through a store and looking at the options, you didn’t want to walk around forever. The lack of desire to walk endlessly through a store fed the desire to make a decision. Therefore, some of the urgency of a decision has decreased through the convenience of scrolling.

At other times, parents would simply walk in the door of their home with a VHS or DVD that they had already picked out. As kids, if we wanted to watch a movie we either watched what they got or nothing at all. Options were somewhat nonexistent.

Today, the novelty of movie-watching has become less…novel. Our children are growing up in a world where (seemingly) endless movie options are available at the click of a button. So, it seems that at least three (somewhat overlapping) factors have made movie-selections more difficult:

1. Accessibility - We’re often less intentional due to ease of access.

2. Convenience - The movie store is now in our home, and it’s much larger.

3. Overabundance - We simply have too many choices.

It’s important to take note of how these new movie-watching practices are shaping our children. How might overabundance and convenience become a bad thing? There’s more to say and think about here, and I hope to write a bit more about each, but I want to give some potential solutions to aid you and your family in making this process easier. I also want to hear ideas from you, so please leave some comments.

Some Practical Ideas/Thoughts:

• The “OG method” AKA The Vote: The one that involves the least amount of prep is to simply allow each family member to suggest a movie and then try to reach a consensus. Of course, part of the problem comes from the lack of consensus. Sometimes you can allow the parent’s vote to be the tiebreaker, but this can still create conflict.

• Rotation: Create a rotation where each family member is allowed to pick a movie. Even if the other family members complain, they’ll eventually get their turn to pick the movie of the week.

• Drawing: Every family member writes a suggestion on a sheet of paper and places it in a cup, basket, hat, etc. Each family member takes a turn picking a sheet of paper (e.g. youngest to oldest) and that’s the movie you watch.

  • Tip #1: Make sure you own all the movies that have been suggested or are available for streaming. Nothing’s worse than drawing the movie with a mixture of excitement and disappointment, only to find out it’s unavailable.

  • Tip #2: Once a family member’s recommended movie has been picked, they don’t get to add another recommendation until all the movies have been chosen.

• Parent’s Pick: When children are younger, parents simply need to pick the movie at times. Don’t give younger children too much authority over picking. Yes, we absolutely want to grow our children towards decision-making and independence, but don’t start this too young or too often. It’s okay to tell them what movie they’re going to watch.

• Limited Options: A variation of the above is to suggest 3-5 movies and allow your children to pick from those. You’re easing the process by limiting the options but allowing them to have some level of autonomy.

• Use the Force: Even when your children are older, you still need to force them to watch certain movies. They need to have an appreciation for classics and not simply a taste for what is most current. We need to be gracious with this process, but try to culture them by ‘forcing’ them to watch some movies.

• On-going List: Create an ongoing list as a family. Use an actual sheet of paper, a Google doc, Evernote, or any other way to capture potential movies. It could be fun to have a bulletin board hanging in a semipublic place in your home and allow anyone to add to it.

• Genre: Instead of having a wide-range of movies to pick through, pick a genre. Tell your family, This week we’re going to watch an animated movie, a comedy, drama, true story, etc. There may still be some disagreement and debate, but it narrows the options a bit.

• Series: Pick a trilogy or series of movies to work through. Deciding to work through installments of a specific film series - e.g. Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings - will keep many arguments at bay. Sure, someone might not like the series you’ve decided on, but once the decision has been made, the process of picking a movie is over…until the series ends.

What does your family do? Please leave some suggestions in the comment section.

Next Week: Are younger generations growing bored with movies?